Betrayed by Blood (Betrayed #1) Read online

  Swallowing around the lump in my throat, I finally utter, “Um, not much, really. I have some papers to grade.”

  “Have dinner with me.”

  His request startles me. It’s something that I desperately want: that sense of normalcy in my life. But I know it’s something that can never be and it has me denying his request instantly.

  “I really shouldn’t. I have to work,” I say, shifting my gaze to the floor.

  Pushing off the wall, he stalks closer, erasing the distance between us. Tilting my chin up, he searches my face for a moment before softening his tone and asking me yet again.

  “Kylee, have dinner with me, please?”

  The intensity of his stare has my entire body breaking out in a cold sweat. Acid begins churning in my stomach, making its way up my esophagus. I swallow and shake my head. Knowing it’s for the best, I trudge forward, giving Alex my response.

  “I’m not sure this is a good idea. I know I said I would try but you don’t understand. And when you do, you’ll just leave, anyway. I’m broken Alex. It’s better this way.” Not disguising the sadness I currently feel, I try to take a step back, breaking our connection. The hand under my chin moves to wrap around my waist, dragging me into his chest.

  “I’ll be the judge of that. Come to dinner. Make me understand.” He leans in so close we are practically breathing the same air. My emotions are at war within me. On one hand, my head is telling me to let him go, and on the other, my heart says to give him a chance. Sensing the debate within me, Alex seizes the opportunity.

  “I’m a patient man, Kai, but you should know I won’t give up easily.”

  Searching his face, I find nothing more than complete sincerity and utter determination. Knowing he won’t be relenting anytime soon, I quickly decide to let it go and put the ball in his court. “All right, Alex, I’ll have dinner with you. Maybe if you know the truth, you’ll understand and can move on.”

  Gently cupping my face, he leans in, whispering against my lips, “Don’t bet on it, Goddess. I told you we’re both broken. Besides, I always get what I want.” Grinning, he places a chaste kiss on my lips then steps back, leaving me dazed and confused. With his hand on the small of my back, he guides me in the direction of his apartment, stopping just outside his door.

  “Do you need to change or drop off your things from work?”

  “Yes, please,” I reply automatically, moving to my apartment door. Catching my elbow, he spins me around. Almost losing my balance, I anchor myself to him, pressing my hands to his chest.

  “Don’t be long. Dinner will be ready in thirty minutes.” Violet eyes hold my gaze, piercing me to the very core before he finally let’s go, spinning me back toward my door. Giving me a quick slap on the ass, he laughs as I squeal and jump back from the shock. Peering over my shoulder, I watch as he tosses me a wink then disappears into his apartment.

  Entering my apartment, I drop my bag on the table by the door then climb the stairs to the loft. After a quick change, I’m left staring at my reflection in the mirror. Raising my hand, I touch the pink hue gracing my cheeks. Doubt begins to creep into my thoughts. What if he decides I’m not worthy? Shaking my head, I continue to stare at the broken mess before me. I’m definitely not worthy of him. Fear eats away at me as I stare at my reflection. I’m terrified of dragging Alex down. If I were to cause this strong man any pain and suffering . . . it would break me. Panic starts to swell within me, causing my chest to constrict. With trembling hands, I grasp the edge of the counter, tucking my chin into my chest.

  Slowly inhaling through my nose and exhaling through my mouth, I shake the thoughts away. Alex is right. It’s his decision so I will tell him my secrets, how I drove my mother away. How I wasn’t enough for her . . . not worthy of her love, much less his. Wait, did I say love? Where did that come from? Love is for fairytales. There is no happy ending for someone like me. Swallowing, I glance one final time in the mirror and decide once and for all to lay everything out for Alex and let him decide.

  Glancing back at my apartment one final time, I gather my courage and knock on the door. Alex greets me with a broad smile that instantly has my blood heating. He hastily ushers me inside as if he’s afraid I might change my mind. As I follow Alex further into his apartment, I find myself so lost in the way he fills out his jeans I almost miss what he says.

  “You actually had me worried for a minute. I thought for sure I was going to have to start a search and rescue.”

  “I almost did change my mind,” I reply shyly.

  He stops in his tracks and turns to face me. “Why?” It’s a simple question, not accusatory in the least, yet I still find myself looking away to avoid having to answer. Like the warmth from a campfire, I can feel his heat even as he approaches, turning my blood to fire and evaporating all moisture from my mouth. Lightly grasping my chin with his fingers and tilting my head back so he can look directly into my eyes, he whispers once more, “Why?”

  Searching his face, I look to see if he’s truly sincere. Does he really want to know? The look he boasts speaks of nothing but sincerity, causing tears to burn my eyes. Biting the inside of my cheek, I force them away and whisper, “To protect you, Alex. I’m so messed up on so many levels it’s not even funny. It would break me if you were dragged down because of my baggage.” Pausing, I take a deep breath before continuing. “But you’re right. It is your decision. So, I’ll tell you everything and you can decide.”

  Closing his eyes, he stays silent for a moment before slowly peeling them open and staring down at me. “I’m so glad you decided to come, Goddess.” He bends down, kissing my forehead before taking a step back and linking our fingers together.

  “Come on, dinner’s ready. I hope you’re hungry.”

  “Famished.”

  “Good. Let’s eat before it gets cold. I hope you don’t mind. I figured we could eat on the balcony.” Alex rubs a hand down the back of his neck nervously as he looks toward the sliding glass doors.

  “No, the balcony’s great.”

  Smiling and gently squeezing his fingers, I feel the tension drain from his body. Bringing our fingers to his mouth, he gently brushes his lips across the back of my hand. Desire immediately ignites my blood as heat starts to flood my skin where his lips have lightly caressed it. Stopping, Alex looks up and smiles. Tugging on my hand once more, he pulls me toward the open doors as if nothing ever happened. Letting out a small sigh, I follow him through the doors leading outside.

  The small balcony houses a table with two chairs overlooking the bustling city of Seoul. Beautiful rays of orange and pink shine through the clouds behind the skyscrapers as the city comes to life around us. Tiny shimmers of light refract off the glass windows as the sun sets, casting rainbow like prisms across the balcony.

  “The view is beautiful here,” I say, breaking the silence as I observe the city below.

  “Not as beautiful as you are.”

  “Please don’t, Alex. You’ll make this harder than it already is.” My voice quivers slightly. Dropping my eyes, I commence studying the wine glass in front of me. Rough hands pry my fingers away from the glass. Keeping my focus on the glass in front of me, I try to ignore the heat from his touch. Still rubbing calming circles into the palm of my hand Alex says, “Kylee, it’s okay. You can tell me.” Underneath the table, my legs begin to quake as my anxiety level increases. Purging the remaining air from my lungs, I peek through my lashes and am stunned by the fierce protectiveness in his gaze.

  Finding my voice, I’m just about to begin when he speaks.

  “I’m a contractor for the government and I don’t usually get involved with women. If I want the comfort of a woman, it’s always a onetime thing, and they know what to expect.” He pulls his hand away from mine to scrub the front of his face. “I’ve been burned before, Kylee. So bad that I was in a really bad place for a really long time.” His gaze moves out to the city below. “But, Goddess, you have me tied in fucking knots. I can’t get you ou
t of my damn head, and no woman has ever made me feel the way you do.” Turning to meet my eyes, he gives me a slight smile. “I barely know you, but I have this intense need to be around you, to keep you safe all the time.”

  Tears cascade down my cheeks in earnest, spilling onto the table below. My chest aches from the pain of what I’ve yet to tell him. Slowly, I begin lifting my legs off the floor, tucking them into my chest and securing my arms around them tightly. Only when I’m comfortable, wrapped up in the security of my tight little ball, do I finally break the silence.

  “When you asked about my mom, I told you she left, but I didn’t tell you why she left. It’s my fault, really.” A dark laugh void of humor escapes my lips.

  “Kylee, there’s nothing you could have done that would have made her leave.”

  “That’s what you don’t understand, Alex . . . . There’s . . .” I pause for a moment to steady myself.

  “I told you my father was in the Army. What I didn’t tell you was while he was stationed in Korea he met my mother and she ended up pregnant with me. Her family found out and disowned her. My father married my mother and brought her to America where I was born. Everything was fine for the first several years.” My voice hitches on the last word and I take a break for a moment. Alex watches me intently, his eyes never leaving my face. Dragging in one final breath, I tighten my arms around myself as my darkest secrets come tumbling to the surface.

  “Pain, Alex. That’s what I think of when I think of her. Blood and Pain. It started small. She would say things like ‘A good Korean daughter is seen and not heard,’ or ‘A good Korean daughter must be resilient.’ She said she was training me. It was how she was taught. When my father was home, we looked like a picture perfect family, but when he left, she would tie me to a bed and beat me for days. I was the reason she couldn’t be with her family anymore. I was the reason she had to leave. She told me I was unworthy.”

  Blowing out a breath, I place my cheek on my knee, peering into the distance. “Kai, you can’t believe the words of a deranged woman. I know she was your mother but she abused you.”

  “There’s more, Alex,” I whisper, turning to face him, my voice devoid of all emotion. “Before she left, things had escalated. My dad was gone all the time and she thought she could turn me into the perfect daughter. Mom said I had to know my place.” Tilting my head back, I allow my eyes to close for a brief moment.

  “Kylee, you don’t have to tell me. It changes nothing.”

  Laughing, I turn and see worry etched in the lines on his face. Unable to help myself, I raise my voice. “It changes everything, Alex! She pimped me out to her fucking friends and sold me like a goddamned whore at ten years old.” Tears are streaming wildly down my face as I lower my legs to the ground, leaning closer to him.

  “My own mother decided I wasn’t good enough to love.” Shame begins to fill me but I press on with urgency. “Without a second thought or even a care as to how it would affect me, she let them use me. And the one time I said no she beat me to a bloody fucking pulp and left. I laid there in a heap on the floor for days. A teacher ended up coming by and found me. So you see, it changes everything. I’m not worthy, Alex, and definitely not good enough for you. You deserve so much better. I’ve been broken, Alex . . . betrayed by my own blood.” The last words are but a whisper as I drop to the ground, sobbing, the last of my secrets expelled.

  Alex engulfs me in his embrace, pulling me onto his lap. Warmth surrounds me as my body continues to grieve for all that was lost in my childhood. Whispering soothing words that make no sense, Alex’s arms tighten around me, bringing comfort and shining light into the deepest recesses of my soul. Long moments pass as he cradles me to his chest, soothing my fears. Finally, my sobs dissipate, leaving soft hiccups in their wake. Nestling my nose deeper into his neck, I inhale his lavender and sandalwood scent, further calming my restless nerves.

  Gently kissing the top of my head, he speaks, his voice gruff and filled with emotion. “Kai, you are the strongest, bravest woman I’ve ever met and this changes nothing . . . . It changes nothing.” Gasping, I lean back in search of his eyes. Our gazes collide, his fierce and protective, mine unsure and insecure. I’m not sure how much time passes as we stare into each other’s eyes, Alex’s fierce, protective gaze never wavering. My pain echoes all around us as he looks to me once more and whispers, “It changes nothing and I intend to prove it.” A slow smile curves his lips as he leans down, taking my mouth in the gentlest of kisses.

  Secrets hurt when they’re kept hidden, buried deep inside where no one can see them. He shattered my defenses and brought my darkness into the light. The only question that remains now is: Will he betray me, too?

  “LOAD UP!” I SHOUT. ONE by one, Sam, Brighton, Noah and Cooper start climbing into the back of the transport. Waiting until the last of my men are loaded, I climb inside, plopping down next to Sam, my second in command. Cooper’s head bobbing up and down catches my attention as the transport takes off. A broad grin is spread across his face as he hums some unknown tune. Catching me staring, his smile gets bigger as he makes eye contact and leans forward.

  “Where are we headed, Alpha?”

  Ignoring his question, I ask one of my own. “Tell me, newbie, have you ever been to MPRC?”

  Cooper’s eyes grow wide and sparkle with excitement at the mention of the Multi-Purpose Range Complex.

  “No, sir, never been, but I’ve heard about it.”

  “Well, today’s your lucky day, kid. You get to experience it. Tell me, what have you heard?”

  “Well, not much, Alpha. I know it’s a live range so we use real ammunition.”

  Letting out a low whistle, I smirk and see smiles spread across the rest of my teams’ faces. “Damn, boys, we get to bust his cherry today.” Sam, Noah, and Brighton laugh as Cooper nervously looks between the four of us.

  “So here’s the deal, kid. It’s live ammo. We have a common enemy to take down. Think of it as a war game. We’re using everything from Apaches and tanks to hand-to-hand combat. We pretty much get to blow shit up on the mountain while honing our skills.”

  Cooper fist pumps the air and hollers, “Hell ya!” With a shake of my head, I laugh and sit back in my seat then turn to look at the countryside passing us by. Cooper taps my knee, bringing my attention back to my team. Leaning forward once again, he yells over the hum of the engines, “Why do they call you Alpha?” Sam’s throaty chuckle has me turning to notice the other three have joined our conversation.

  Sam leans forward and shouts, “Well, if you ask him, he’ll tell you he’s called Alpha because he’s in charge. What really happened was when we were on TDY, this chick . . .” I nudged Sam in the ribs, effectively cutting off his words. Laughter erupts all around me. Confusion mars Cooper’s face as his eyes dart around the unit.

  “This chick, what?” Cooper is practically salivating.

  “Nothing. I’m called Alpha because I’m a leader.”

  Smirking, Cooper closes the distance so he doesn’t have to speak as loud. “So, Alpha, tell us how did it go when you led that hot little piece home?”

  “She’s none of your business,” I say through clenched teeth. Surprise registers on the faces of my team before they all break out in to smiles and laughter.

  “Damn, that woman’s got Alpha’s panties in a twist.” Noah chuckles.

  “No one’s panties are in a twist, dammit. Leave it. Get your head in the game. No distractions,” I grit out through clenched teeth. Crossing my arms over my chest and leaning back once more, I stare out into the countryside as my team talks about the upcoming training. Long moments pass and I lose myself in the hum of the engines, allowing my irritation to slip away with each pothole we cross. Sam, picking up on my fading irritation, nudges me to get my attention.

  “Care to talk about it?”

  “Nothing to talk about,” I say, shaking my head.

  “That’s bullshit and you know it.”

  Chuckling at hi
s response, I retort, “It’s not bullshit. There’s nothing to talk about.”

  “AJ, I’ve known you for years and I’ve never seen you this worked up over a woman. Not even with you know who. So you wanna tell me again there’s nothing to talk about?”

  “Fuck,” I say as I scrub my hand down the front of my face.

  “I don’t know what the hell is wrong with me. You know as well as I do after that shit with the last one, relationships and I, we don’t see eye to eye. I don’t get involved . . . ever. Sam, I swear it’s like some kind of magnetic force pulling me to her. Argh! What is wrong with me?”

  “Maybe you just need to fuck her and move on.”

  “What? No way! You don’t understand, man, it’s not like that.” My head shakes vigorously, denying his statement.

  “Then explain to me what it’s like then, AJ. Because from the outskirts looking in, Kylee seems like a great girl, but she’s clearly timid. Face it, man, the girl’s damaged, and damaged girls don’t need a serial hit it and quit it like you to jump in and damage them even more.”

  “Fuck you,” I snap, glaring in his direction. “You don’t know the first damn thing about her. I fucking told you it’s not like that! Dammit, Sam, it’s like wherever she is I need to be. Fuck, I want to be. My body ignites whenever she’s around. Of course I want to fuck her. Any red-blooded male would want to. But it’s more than that. There’s this intense need to protect her, to shield her, and make sure she’s safe.”

  Sam quietly contemplates my words, searching my eyes for several heartbeats before he speaks again. “Have you told her you’re Delta Force?” The question renders me speechless for a moment, my eyes growing wide. Shock is clear on his features by the firm set of his jaw and widening of his eyes.