Betrayed by Blood (Betrayed #1) Page 16

  “Kai, wait! Please, baby, it’s not what you think. Let me explain.”

  Alex’s violet eyes crash with mine as the doors begin closing. The pained expression on his face has my breath freezing in my lungs. My heart clenches as if someone has reached into my chest and squeezed the very life from me. Tears burn the backs of my eyes and I swallow, biting the inside of my cheek to fight the burn. The elevator opens on the lobby floor and I rush out, racing for the bus, unable to stop for fear of him catching me. Thankfully, he’s nowhere to be seen and the bus is just arriving as I step outside, allowing me to jump right on and head to Mt. Umyeonsan.

  Why I’ve chosen to hike the mountain Alex took me to, I have no clue. It’s as if I need this closure to finally move on and reconstruct the walls around my heart. My stomach lurches at the thought of Alex and Sabrina. Seeking a way out of my thoughts, I grab my ear buds and shove them in my ears then turn on my music. “Broken” by Seether immediately begins to play and my heart gives a little jolt as the words wash over me. Broken . . . the exact words I used to describe myself to Alex. Excruciating pain lances through me as I exit the bus and enter the trails leading up the mountain.

  Breaking into a run, I allow my emotions to dictate my every move. Broken, shattered, tiny fragmented pieces of my heart scatter as I run the trail. My breath saws in and out of my chest in staccato pants. My lungs feel as if they may explode with each inhale. Pushing on, I embrace the pain, trying to forget Alex with each stride. As I round the corner, the butterfly observatory where Alex and I shared our first kiss comes into view. As if I’d been punched in the stomach, I hunch over, unable to breathe.

  On shaky legs, I inch forward slowly toward the observatory. Long moments pass as I take small steps to the bench where we sat. Finally reaching my destination, I take a seat and bring my knees into my chest. Clutching my knees, I begin to rock on the bench, staring into the distance as hot tears begin streaming down my face. Sabrina is right. I’m not good enough for Alex. I’m broken. He needs someone that’s strong and vibrant. Someone whole who can love him, not someone who’s been shattered and used. I’m not strong enough to handle this. I knew he would break me. How am I going to survive this? The sharp edges and broken pieces cut deeper, ripping into my shattered heart. My head falls back onto the bench and my eyes fall closed.

  A soul shattering scream echoes all around me as excruciating pain fills my body. The sound still echoing from my lips tells a story of a pain so deep that it could only be love. A sob leaves my throat as reality slams into me. I love Alex. Oh my God, when did I fall in love with Alex? How did I allow him to break down my walls? Clutching my knees tighter, I press my face deeply into them as my sobs grow louder. With every tear that falls and each sob that leaves me, I begin purging my body of Alexander Grant and my love for him.

  Sobbing uncontrollably, I lose all awareness of my surroundings and jerk when a warm hand touches my arm. Sniffling, squinting my eyes to focus on the blurry form in front of me. As my vision clears, I suck in a breath. A sharp pang travels through my chest. Whimpering, I squeeze my eyes closed once again, wishing he weren’t here. Alex shifts forward, resting his forehead on my legs. His touch sends a jolt of arousal coursing through my system.

  Suppressing a groan, I open my eyes and peer down at him. The urge to run my hands through his hair is so strong I have to clench my knees tighter. Alex rocks back on his heels, our gazes locking together. Sorrow creases the lines of his face, bringing new tears to my eyes. Running a hand through his already disheveled hair, he grimaces.

  “Goddess, you’re breaking my heart here.”

  A hysterical laugh spills from me as I breathe in his words. “Your heart is breaking?” I choke on a sob. Alex reaches for me. Unable to take his touch for fear of breaking, I hold up a hand, halting his advance.

  “Fuck. Goddess, I swear to you it isn’t what you think. She lied to you.”

  Releasing my knees, my hands cover my ears as I begin frantically shaking my head from side to side. I can’t take this. I’m not strong enough. I was already broken but now . . . there isn’t a word for what I am. There’s nothing left. I’m empty. You can’t come back from this. It hurts so bad I can barely manage to breathe. I don’t want to breathe. I don’t want to do anything but lie down and go to sleep . . . and I’m not sure if I want to wake up.

  His warmth surrounds me as he slowly removes my hands from my ears. Sitting next to me, he cups my face and turns so that we’re looking in each other’s eyes. Resting his forehead on mine, he whispers, “Baby, you have to believe me.”

  “H—how?”

  “Please, baby, just let me explain.”

  “Y—you lied to me,” I stammer as hiccups begin to assault me.

  “I screwed up. There are things I didn’t tell you and should have, but she did lie to you, Kai.”

  “W—why did you lie to me?”

  Alex lets go of my face to settle back in to the bench. Running a hand through his hair, he says, “I didn’t lie to you. It just never came up. Honestly, I never thought she would show up.”

  My fists clench into tight balls, my knuckles turning white as I force out a laugh. Placing my feet firmly on the ground, I narrow my eyes in Alex’s direction. “You never thought your wife would show up?” I grit out between clenched teeth. Alex opens his mouth to speak but I lean forward slightly, interrupting him. “You don’t think not telling me you had a wife isn’t a lie?”

  Alex’s jaw clenches as he leans forward, closing the distance between us. “Stop pushing me away.”

  “You lied.”

  “I told you what was necessary. There are things that I can’t tell you and you’re going to have to trust that. It’s not only for your safety but that of those I work with as well. Dammit, Kai. There are people I have to protect, lives depend on my secrecy. I’ve never been involved with a woman and actually wanted to tell her the truth. Until I met you.”

  Silence ensues as I search his eyes for any hint of untruth in his words. Finding none, I release a breath I hadn’t realized I’d been holding. My lungs burn as I inhale. A sizable lump has taken up residence in my throat, causing me to swallow repeatedly. Finally feeling as if I can speak, I look to the ground, afraid of what I’ll find in Alex’s eyes.

  “I’m not really sure I understand.” My voice is but a whisper.

  Using his index finger and thumb, he gently tilts my chin up so that our gazes lock before he speaks. “Do you remember when I told you I was a government contractor?” Unsure of whether my voice will work or not, I just nod my head in agreement.

  “Well, I’ve not told you what I do for them. Truth be told, Kai, I can’t tell you. It puts both you and me in danger if I do. Just trust me when I say it’s best that you don’t know.” Nodding my head in understanding, I remain silent. Alex closes his eyes for a moment before releasing a sigh and continuing. “Technically, I’m still married until next week. We’re separated, have been for a while. The divorce was filed quite some time ago. I’m pretty much just waiting on the judge to sign off on it now.”

  Some of the tension drains from my body as he confesses. My relief is short-lived as I’m reminded of her protruding belly and unborn child. Barely able to choke out the words, I ask, “What about the baby? She said you were having a baby. I . . . I can’t be the cause of a broken home, Alex.”

  Alex laughs hard and loud. His laugh is cold and devoid of all humor. “Goddess, she got pregnant when I was out of the country. Sabrina was already knocked up when I came back. Baby, the time line doesn’t add up. I double checked with her doctors a long time ago. That child isn’t mine. She was trying to get into your head and drive a wedge between us.”

  Alex’s eyes bore into mine as he pleads, “Baby, please don’t let her come between us. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I can’t lose you. Please, you have to believe me.”

  Fat tears stroll down my cheeks as uncontrollable sobs wrack my body. Alex scoops me up and sets me o
n his lap. Running a soothing hand down the length of my spine, he begins to plead into my hair.

  “Please, Goddess, you have to believe me. I can’t live without you.”

  Alex wraps his arms tighter around me, hugging me to him as I breathe in his lavender and sandalwood scent, soothing my frayed nerves. My sobs quiet down and the tension drains from my muscles. Leaning my head back, I see Alex’s face wet with tears of his own, his expression one of grave concern.

  “Sabrina was right. I’m not good enough for you. I’m broken, Alex. You deserve someone better.”

  A savage growl erupts from him as he hisses, “That’s bullshit, Kylee, and you know it. Why do you keep fighting it? What does your heart say, huh? What do you have to lose?”

  Sucking in a breath, I feel a pang of sadness as my eyes roam over the man I love. “Everything,” I whisper. Truth rings clear in my words. Everything is what I will lose: myself, my dignity, my soul. There will be nothing left, not even a shell; no pieces will remain to even say here is what remains of Kylee Ann Parker.

  Alex shakes his head vehemently. “It’s about love, Kylee, not about the pain. Give us a chance. We’re good together. Let go, baby, let it ride.” He pauses, taking a breath. Sighing, he continues, “Let me heal you, Kai. Together we can make each other whole again.”

  Lost in each other’s eyes, we remain silent for several moments before I reach up and stroke the side of his face. Alex leans into my hand, his eyes falling shut as his body visibly shudders. Soaking up his warmth, I take in a deep breath as his scent fills my nose. Alex slowly opens his eyes to meet mine and I shyly smile and suck in a breath at the one he returns.

  Touching our foreheads together, Alex whispers, “Please, baby, give us a chance. Let me make it up to you. I swear I’ll spend the rest of our lives making it right if you let me.”

  My breath catches as I think about his words. The rest of our lives? What does that mean? I clear my thoughts, pushing them aside for another time. Gazing deep into Alex’s eyes, I open my mouth to speak when a hiccup comes rushing out. Covering my mouth with my hand, I giggle as the tension surrounding us breaks. Groaning, Alex leans back.

  “That is the most delicious sound I’ve ever heard.” Kissing my forehead, he looks to me for reassurance and I give a single nod before smiling at him. Sighing, his body hunches in minutely as he mutters, “Thank fuck.”

  Laughing, I smack his arm before I become serious and catch his gaze, holding it once again. “Alex, if you ever withhold anything like this from me again. I . . . I don’t think I can take it. I’m not strong enough.”

  Alex’s brow furrows, his jaw tightening as he says, “I wish you could see yourself the way I do. You’re strong and fierce, Kylee. There’s a tiger inside of you, a fierce woman lying dormant, waiting to come out. You just have to let her. We can get through anything, baby. It’s you and me from here on out. I swear the only thing I’ll keep from you is what I have to for work, and that’s just to keep you safe, Goddess, I swear.”

  As I think about what he said, I realize something doesn’t add up. He reminds me too much of my father and his secrecy. My stomach lurches at the thought. Pushing the thoughts away, I say, “I’ve never seen myself that way, but I promise I’ll try for you, okay?”

  “Okay.” He smiles.

  “Wanna get out of here?” I say, quirking my head toward the door.

  “Sure, but there’s something I’ve gotta do first.” Murmuring the final words, his lips come crashing down onto mine. The kiss is swift but passionate as his tongue sweeps into my mouth, tangling with mine. Passion overtakes me as I thrust my tongue into his mouth. His delicious taste explodes, overriding my senses. I whimper, my lips parting wider, a silent plea begging for more.

  Chuckling, Alex disentangles our bodies, separating us limb by limb. My lips plump into an involuntary pout as he pulls back. His chuckle transforms into a sensual rumble deep in his chest, sending vibrations straight to my core. Heat instantly pools in my center, soaking my panties. Fighting a grin, Alex angles himself in minutely, licking his lips. My breath hitches as my eyes follow the direction of his tongue.

  Shifting, he places me on the bench and stands, offering me his hand. Alex waits in silence as I stare at his outstretched palm for a moment. Peering through my lashes, our eyes come together and I instantaneously lose my breath. Lust-filled eyes stare back at me; the normally vibrant violet hue of his gaze now darkened to a deep rich plum, so dark it appears black. A burning sensation fills my lungs, reminding me I’ve yet to breathe. Sucking in a harsh breath, I lace my fingers through his, delighting in his warmth.

  Pulling me into his chest, he inhales deeply, mumbling, “God, how I missed you.” My arms wrap around his body as I snuggle deeper into his embrace. Alex holds me for a moment before releasing me. “Come on, let’s go.”

  “Where are we going?”

  A predatory grin stretches across his face as he looks upon me. “We have some making up to do. I do believe I have a body to worship.” Sparks ignite in my core and spread like fire through my body. “Um. O—okay,” I stammer.

  Chuckling, he pulls me to the trail, leading me home. The ride home passes in a blur, a torturous ride of touches and small kisses meant to torment me and kill me slowly. Every sleight of hand along my bare thigh or nibble on my ear lobe only sufficed to ratchet my desire from burning to scorching by the time we reached his apartment. Opening his door, Alex motions for me to enter. Slamming the door closed behind me, he throws the lock then struts over to me like a predator on the prowl. Taking a step back, I find myself with my back against the window with nowhere to go. Tsking, he moves closer.

  “Where do you think you’re going? We’ve got some unfinished business.” He stalks closer. I’m panting and he’s yet to lay a finger on me. His lips quirk up at the edge as if he knows what I’m thinking. Placing a hand on either side of my head, he leans into my ear and softly croons, “Baby, tonight’s about redemption, letting go of the past, the pain, focusing on the future, on us. Tonight . . .we’re going to fly.”

  Withdrawing his hand from the window, he traces a slow line from the base of my neck to the top of my breasts. Chills break out along my arms and legs and my breath shutters to a halt. Scooping me up into his arms, he cradles me to his chest as he climbs the stairs to the loft. With arms artlessly draped across his neck, my cheek rests softly against his shirt as he gently presses me closer. Lavender, sandalwood, and something entirely Alex swirl around me, creating an intoxicating aroma. Reaching our destination, Alex gently sets me on the bed and slowly steps back a pace. Violet eyes peruse every inch of me as my blood ignites. White-hot flames of desire turn my body to ash beneath his heated stare.

  Whimpering, I plead, “Alex, please.”

  “Please what, Goddess?”

  “Touch me. Please. Touch me.” It’s a plea whispered into the room. The fire within burns red-hot. My back arches, pushing my breasts forward as my head falls back. A groan is torn from Alex as he closes the distance then falls to his knees.

  “Yes, Goddess.” The reverence in his voice echoes throughout the room as if he’s truly worshiping a goddess. Heat begins pooling in my core, saturating my panties. Dexterous fingers dance their way down my legs, briskly removing my running shoes and socks. Smiling, he kisses the top of each foot before planting open-mouth kisses on the inside of each leg. Blood pounds in my ears as nimble fingers slide along firm thighs. The heat from his skin is scorching, magnifying my desire to the point of no return. What once was a yearning to have something normal has now flourished . . . evolved.

  “Alex.” His name leaves my lips on a breathy moan.

  Palming my ass, he squeezes gently, lifting, hooking two fingers in the waistband of my shorts before sliding them down my legs. His eyes heat as he stares at my center. His tongue darts out of his mouth, wetting his lips. Moaning, I shift forward, reaching, grasping onto his shirt. Why is he wearing so many clothes? Tsking, he pries my fingers from his shirt.


  “Unh unh. Not before I’ve had a taste.” My breath whistles as it leaves me in one huge whoosh. Chuckling, he grasps the ends of my t-shirt, slowly drawing it over my head. Our eyes meet as he reaches in, unhooking the clasp on my bra, baring my breasts. Grunting, he leans in, taking a nipple in his mouth.

  Arousal surges through me as the heat from his mouth encapsulates my nipple. A long breathy moan is released from my lungs as my fingers thread deep into his long hair, holding him to my breast. Alex bites down on my nipple, sending a sharp pain straight through my center. Soothing it with the flat of his tongue, the pain melts into pleasure as tiny moans pass my lips in breathless whispers.

  He slides down my body, placing kisses all the way down until he reaches my core. His mouth makes contact with my clit as I slam my eyes closed. Sliding two fingers inside me, he begins thrusting as he sucks and nibbles my clit. Tasting, devouring as if he’s a starving man who’s been denied his last meal. Heat builds in my center, spreading as he continues to vigorously thrust in and out. Adding a third finger, he growls, never ceasing the assault on my clit.

  “Let me have it, Goddess.” It’s a command, words spoken in the heat of the moment. Like the straw that broke the camel’s back, it’s all I needed to throw me over the cliff of ecstasy, screaming his name along the way. Alex thrusts his fingers deeper, crooking and pressing against my g-spot, taking me higher than I’ve ever been before. I scream into the night, breathless as he brings me down from the most intense orgasm I’ve ever had.

  He leisurely crawls up my body, our mouths connecting in a kiss so full of hope and passion it steals my breath away. Staring deeply into his passion-filled gaze, emotions strike me all at once, causing tears to prick my eyes. I’ve fallen in love with Alexander Grant. Truly, madly and deeply in love with him. A love that’s so wild and crazy, it’s soul connecting. My fingers grip him tighter as I search his eyes, looking for an answer I’m not likely to find. The truth is he has the power to crush me and send me into that deep dark abyss that no one returns from. Alexander Grant is the love of my life, my soul mate. The only question that remains now is: Does he feel the same?